Only 4 more days to the announcement date for Ritsumeikan APU.

I don’t know if I’ll get accepted, honestly. I didn’t think I did great in the interviews either. I felt that it was really half-assed (seriously). Sigh. I won’t immediately accept if I do get admitted, though. I’d have to take the scholarship factor into consideration since living and studying Japan is so expensive.

Another friend persuaded me to try and apply for NTU in Taiwan. I don’t know if I’ll get accepted either. But the real main problem lies within the language barrier. I haven’t spoken Chinese or written it for years since I stopped studying it at school. I have very little and limited knowledge regarding that language. I could still understand bits of people’s conversation if I listen closely, but reading and writing in that language is a big no-no.

Well, Japanese language is no different. They’re just as hard as Chinese (since they share the same characters) and even more complicated. I myself haven’t had the chance to study deeper about Japanese language because of school activities. (But I do plan on taking an intensive course on it once I’m free from exams.)

I feel like I kept wandering from place to place. I’ve applied to several universities with totally different majors. I don’t even know what I’m really gonna be in the future or if I’m gonna like the subjects or whether it’ll be useful for me. At some point I don’t think that continuing my studies is a good idea since everything is really forced. What I want to be and what I can do is not running on the same track.

I’ve been feeling depressed lately. It’s mostly because I’ve been failing most of my tryouts. I did study as hard as I could (minus falling asleep), but I still couldn’t solve complicated questions which I have never seen before. My brain isn’t made for quick logical thinking. And the formulas, gods, the formulas are too overwhelming! How could they expect me to memorise three years worth of formulas in one day?

Twelve graders had a day off this Wednesday to prepare for more tryouts, which started exactly the day after it. On Tuesday, I spent the whole day finishing up my essays up to 2 AM with two of my friends. I actually feel bad for making them stay awake to help me. (Insert guilty feeling here.) I woke up a bit earlier on Wednesday to print my applications out and to recheck it. I was pretty sure I hadn’t missed anything when I also asked my mom to review it.

Oh well, I was wrong.

I hadn’t signed the last page of the form, so it was returned to me. I also had to actually attach a photocopy of my IELTS results. In addition to that, the university staff asked me to submit the original version (not translated) of the legalised report card from the first to the fifth semester. I was really confused as the statements in the website and form only required me to submit 2~2.5 years of my report, so I thought the fifth semester wasn’t needed. They also stated that I wouldn’t need to submit a copy of my exam result as long as I entered my IELTS form number.

Wednesday was the 27th. The deadline was on the 29th. The staff gave me two days to complete the missing files. And let me tell you how stressed and irritated my parents was when they had to sort all the remaining applications out. (It’s impossible for me to finish the job since I have tryouts.) I wouldn’t say that my school was reliable since they work really slow and all the teachers were occupied with tryouts. Moreover, my fifth semester report was a temporary one. The school’s system had an error so they couldn’t print the official ones. Thus, the headmaster couldn’t legalise anything. (Insert rage here.)

My mom urged the headmaster to hurry, so in the end I got my fifth semester report card just in time for submitting (29th, it’s the damned deadline.) So yeah, you should never submit anything nearing the deadline cause cases like mine happens really often.

Right, it’s new year already. I gotta prepare for lots of things since national exams are around the corner (help!). I’ve filled my new planner with the dates on which tryouts will take place. And as expected I already have two exams on the waiting list even though the new term hasn’t even started yet. (Ugh).

Current plans and goals

• Finish university essays before school starts
• Get my report cards translated by the 2nd week of January
• Prepare for tryouts a week before it starts (God bless me for being diligent)
• University result notification on 29th of February
• Attend the interview for the university (if I pass the screening) in February
• Review for my practical exams (starts on the 3rd week of February)
• Final exams starts on 14th of March and ends on the 23rd
• National Examination on April (dates unknown yet)
• Attend the prom (a.k.a farewell party)

Other than that, I do plan to attend a Japanese language school if I get accepted in the university. The course will probably take 3 months long. 🙂

I’m not really sure I’ll have a decent leisure time after this holiday ends so I won’t be able to update much. Heck, I doubt I’ll have the time to post lengthy wall of texts in the future. Anyways, I hope your goals would also work out smoothly this year! ♥

I finally have my IELTS result with me! Surprisingly, I didn’t have any part of the test’s scores below 5.5. The average score was 8.0! (Throws confetti everywhere).

I’m really relieved that I didn’t fail the test despite the horrible stomach pain that I experienced during the exam. It was really horrible. Sigh. The next thing I’ll have to prepare is my essays and report card translations. I was too late to contact the person who was supposed to translate it so their offices were closed the day I went to visit. I do hope they’ll translate the report cards in time for the submission date. On the other hand, my essays are … halfway done? I guess. I really suck at writing, honestly. Having a friend throwing me lots of ideas didn’t really work either. They’re asking me about personal experience that I find valuable, but considering my steady life, I don’t really think there’s something really worth it.

Anyways, this holiday is coming to an end soon. New terms will start on the 7th of January. Third years will start having tryouts shortly after that (kill me pls). Tryouts will be followed by practical exams and lastly the national exams. I really need to work hard (cough) from now on if I want to score better. Well, I’ll do my best! 頑張る！

Yes, time flies really fast. It’s almost christmas and not long after that, new year is coming.

There’s still lots of things left unresolved, though. I don’t know whether I’ll get good grades in my report card. Lol.

End semester test has ended (yay) and everyone gets a day off due to some kind of election tomorrow. I’m planning to hang out together with other 7 friends at the mall to play the House of Trap. These kind of mystery solving games has been quite an uproar recently so I’m also a bit interested to find out how difficult it is to crack a case. We’re only given 45 minutes to find the way out, though. I don’t know if that’ll be enough time for us to get out, but who knows we’ll succeed on the first try?

Anyways, the weather around here hasn’t been really friendly lately. It rained really hard on Sunday and it caused a flash flood in two hours. I was actually happy that it finally rained, but the fact that my house had several leaks made it really hard on me and my mom as we have to mop the floor every time it rains hard. 😦

Well, I’ll just hope that the weather’ll be sunny tomorrow so that I could go and have some fun!

I haven’t got enough space to breathe lately. This week was so damn tiring. I always pass out on my bed instantly after I get home from school. My mind is clouded with thoughts on whether I will pass the tests or just fail horribly.

Well at least, there’s only chemistry and civics left for me to do with an addition of physics retest later on Tuesday. Chemistry has lots off materials to master, though. I doubt I’d be able to memorise it all. Sigh. 😐

Our school will have it’s Christmas celebration on Friday the 11th. Afterwards, we’ll have a momentary holiday before we receive our report cards on the 20th. My brother and I are forced to participate in a retreat programme on the 16th which lasts four days and three nights so I wouldn’t be able to get my report card on the 20th. Another sigh.

I flunked my tests the stupidest way I could flunk it. I guess it’s somewhat ironic. I studied too late to the point I got sleep deprived and unable to concentrate during the tests. I also kind of screwed my biology test today. Might as well screw up my maths test.  🙄

I don’t know why but I guess bad luck is hitting me really frequent recently. I just lost my newly bought highlighter which I even haven’t used because I didn’t notice the hole on the plastic bag the store gave me. It must’ve fell somewhere on the streets while I was crossing. Poor highlighter. I wasted 8k rupiah for nothing.

End tests are starting next Friday. We’re supposed to have a week of preparation in which tests aren’t allowed to be held in that span of time. But yeah, since my school is the type that breaks their own rules for their own advantages, they don’t really give a damn when teachers actually give us additional tests right before the end test starts just for the sake of filling up the score requirements.

I totally got fed up with my physics teacher today. He’s as worse as my civics teacher in every aspect. A total liar, also a kind of freak. He made us do this 15 numbered essay for the previous test but didn’t even look at the process while grading the tests. Why the heck did he make us do essays when he’s not even going to touch the process. He also modified some of the test scores to avoid retests. (Like none of the teachers did that yet. Meh.)

I still have several weeks to go through this year. Hope holidays come soon.

I wish this year could be over soon. Life’s seriously tiring in every aspect. Lol.

I’ve started my IELTS course (even though I told my mom I didn’t need it) since this Monday. I think it was just a waste of time. The teacher doesn’t seem to help much since he only hold his textbook during class and read every single thing written there. I could’ve done that too with the same book, duh.

I have less spare time now due to the enrichment class held every freaking Saturday. Teachers are progressing with the lessons with real crazy speed I can’t even keep up. It’s like I’m told to skim through the whole textbook and get ready for a new text coming in one week.

Our end tests are probably going to be held on the very end of November, seeing as we still have three more weeks full of test schedule this month. And I have to admit it’s pretty hard to succeed in your studies unless you work hard on it. Nevertheless, I’ve passed all of my tests with half-assed determination. Yay.

The letter of notification about getting accepted to the university has arrived yesterday. I got 90% scholarship for the entrance fee so I only have to pay around 3 million (that’s around $220) for it. I still have to pay for each of the semester though. But that scholarship really saved my parents a lot of money! Although the amount won’t matter much if you’re going to study abroad, I think it’s still a great deal. Mom said that I should just take the double degree program and spend a year in Australia later on. But I’m still hoping to get accepted in Ritsumeikan …

Anyways, mom bought herself a mocha cake for her birthday yesterday. She didn’t bake for herself this year because she’s too tired (and lazy) to do so. We haven’t celebrated her birthday yet because dad went to another city for his work. I hope he gets back soon.

It has also started raining here several days ago. It was the first rain after going 9 months ago. It hasn’t rained again since then, though. I hope it will rain again soon.