I’m starting to lose my sense of time by staying cooped up in my room with no school and a proper schedule. My day passes by really seamlessly that I couldn’t tell the difference between yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I do try to keep myself busy and occupied with job hunting applications. But most of the time I just procrastinate and live my life inside Animal Crossing. I realized recently that I’ve invested more than 200 hours into the game and that’s when I realized I’m in deep trouble.
I really should get my life together haha.
I haven’t touched my thesis ever since I completed my survey. I was stuck trying to analyze a bunch of data and I couldn’t progress because I did not know (and I still don’t) how to interpret all these numbers. I could’ve (should’ve, would’ve) contacted my professor to ask for help but I really couldn’t juggle between writing a thesis and doing job hunting. I ended up leaving it untouched until this moment to prioritize the latter.
Little did I realize that time passed by so fast that it’s already 2 months before the actual thesis submission date. Being the procrastinator I am, I’m starting to feel a bit uneasy about the current status of my paper. I decided that I won’t pick up on any new job applications after I submit my last one and start focusing on finishing up my paper ASAP.
I haven’t attempted digital art for so long that I almost forgot how to draw. Being occupied with job hunting and thesis writing (which didn’t even progress) really got my hands shackled.
But since the outbreak is getting worse and it doesn’t seem like companies will continue hiring people, I kind of gave up trying so hard. I’m still trying, but not putting 100% effort into everything because I know companies out there are just displaying job openings for the sake of display.
So I decided to pick up my drawing utensils and take a break from all the stressful work. Drawing reminded me how I love art but not exactly being good at it. I realized that I’ve been applying to the same type of companies: those who have an aesthetic for design and somehow still connected to my field of study in university.
Though I failed all of them.
At some point I wondered if I should just apply to fields that I’m not even interested in. But it’s even harder to bring myself to apply to those kind of companies since I have to write “reason for applying” essay each time. And that’s taxing.
While thinking all of those I got reminded of my mom’s little dream to open her own bakery/coffee shop. I thought it’d be great if we could turn that into a reality one day so I started doodling an icon for her ‘future’ shop.
I liked how it turned out. I changed the style a bit since I’ve always wanted to try this kind of art style. Maybe I’ll attempt this kind of style more in the future.
I have just realized that I did not post anything for December and that 2019 already ended before I could post this lol.
The last month of 2019 was a blast. Extreme things happened (will be explained in another post) but good and nice things like watching Christmas fireworks in the middle of winter happened as well.
Highlights
Watched fireworks in Beppu for the first time in my whole university years. I only watched it because I’m about to graduate lol.
Experienced my first breakdown, which was not pleasant.
Successfully submitted a job application to a company I’m interested in. Wish me luck in the interviews!
Went to Gotenba and Hakone with two of my other friends.
2019 for me was …
Tough. I didn’t feel that job hunting was that scary until I had to undergo it. Having to multitask with thesis writing was and is really taxing as well.
Fun. I think I traveled the most this year. From Osaka and Tokyo to my first visit to the US in Chicago!
Full of love. I realize that I do have friends and family who are willing to support me every time I stumble and fall.
Quick. To be honest, I didn’t expect the year to end this quickly. I guess time does fly…
I’m grateful for
My friends who always gave me that push when I needed it.
My family who made everything I wanted to do possible.
You, who have been following me on this blog, may it be a passive reader or a frequent commenter. It always gives me a reason to keep writing. Thank you so much. ♥
Happy New Year! Hoping that 2020 will be a good year for all of us.
This month was hectic and tiring. My calendar has never looked so crowded and I feel like I’m always out and about physically and mentally. So many things were happening and it’s hard to process what’s really happening around me.
Highlights
Went to the States for the first time!
Fell on my knee and earned a huge bruise (still not fully healed yet)
Successfully finished my TA job
Nailed my midterms
My MacBook battery died on me
I’m grateful for
My friends who helped me catch up with the lectures while I’m away
The chance to be a TA
My parents who’re always there for me when I need them
I need to
Take thesis writing more seriously
Start weeding out the companies I want to apply for
Stop surfing websites (to prevent me from splurging)
I’m looking forward to
Going to Gotenba again (specifically Hakone)
Receiving my salary! 😆
Spend the end of the year with friends that really matter ♥
The event ended in the afternoon so we had a couple of hours to explore the city. I decided to visit Woodfield Mall, which is the biggest premium outlet in the area (apparently). My newly made Korean friend decided to join me since she had to do some shopping as well.
The shuttle bus (but they call it ‘trolley’)
We took the free shuttle bus from the hotel to get to the mall. Once again, this transportation system had no announcements indicating which stop we are at currently. Are all public transportations like this? Lol.
Penne pasta from Cheesecake Factory
We had our late lunch at the famous Cheesecake Factory. The food was good but the waiting time was just horrible for us especially because we were starving. It’s nice that they provide us bread for free service.
Finally got my smartwatchAnd shopped at Sephora for the first time
After our meal, we headed out and did a conquest for our bucket list. My friend got a sweater from Abercrombie for her boyfriend but was unable to get the new Airpods Pro since it was out of stock. I was grateful that they had a Fossil store in the mall and that I was able to get my hands on the smartwatch that I have been eyeing for a while.
We made Sephora as our last stop. Actually, I’ve been into one in Indonesia but I just never shopped there since the price looked ridiculous in our currency. The variety in this particular shop was wider and we spent a good one hour just looking at things.
We decided to go back to the hotel afterward since the mall closes at 6 PM. We ended our day then and said our goodbyes since both of us will be staying at separate hotels for another day before flying back home the day after. I told my friend that I am planning to go to Korea (one day) and she said she’ll gladly be my tour guide. Lol.
I was in Chicago (to be exact, Schaumburg) for a week from 29th of October to the 4th of November to attend the Global Leadership Summit held by Beta Gamma Sigma.
Obviously, the event wasn’t the highlight of the whole trip. It was more about the places I visited and the new friends I made, food eaten and window shopping experiences.
Hotel lobby
The hotel that the event was held had a pretty lobby with a huge fireplace in the center to warm up. It’s quite fancy, I must admit. However, I don’t know about paying $150 a night to stay here. It’s a very steep price.
Inside Schaumburg Station
A day before the event starts, I and my friend decided to explore downtown. Since the hotel was in Schaumburg, I had to take the metra to reach my destination (Union Station). Ordering and paying Uber to get to the station itself already posed a lot of problems for me since I had no sim card and credit card. In the end, I had to rely on Paypal and free Wi-Fi to survive. It wasn’t the most exciting experience ever since it was also snowing really hard and I was underdressed.
View from the hotelFrom the top of Willis Tower
The weather was horrible and my legs were freezing for an hour and a half inside the train before I got off at the last stop. I met my friend at the nearest Starbux and headed for Willis Tower despite the shitty weather.
Of course, we couldn’t see much. It was just all white. $25 for nothing, anyone?
The Bean
My underdressed self and my friend took another 30-35 minute walk from the tower to visit the Bean. My hands and legs were freezing but still, we marched forward. It was a bit annoying since it was drizzling and it just ruins the field of view from my glasses and my friend was taking pictures of everything every 3 seconds.
Cheese Garlic Bread
We had a great but overbearing lunch at Giodarno’s, a famous deep-dish pizza chain. It was a mistake for us to order appetizers since we ended up finishing it but couldn’t touch the pizza at all. We only ate one slice each and brought the rest of it home. We developed a trauma for cheese for the next 3 days.
My friend wanted to go to Trader Joe’s in order to get his acquaintances a bunch of shopping bags. Apparently, it’s a thing in Japan to give shopping bags from the States as souvenirs. While we were searching for the ambiguous entrance, I stepped on a steel railing and slipped, falling knee first to the ground while everyone was just staring at me. After that, “FML. It’s gonna be a horrible bruise. Oh, fuck it hurts.” was the only thing that I kept thinking about for the rest of the evening.
We tried going CVS for ointments dealing with bruises, but apparently they didn’t have it. In the end, we spent the last two hours just going around Target and Best Buy to search for something to buy and ended up going home empty-handed since the items we wanted weren’t in stock. We just decided to give up and go home.
Going home from Union Station was a scary experience. The trains didn’t have any announcements of which station they’re currently stopping at (unlike the train I took before) so I had to stay alert and count the stops. At some point, I just fell asleep and luckily, I woke up one stop before Schaumburg. God does exist.
This month was a rollercoaster. I have never traveled so much in my life and it was also the first time for me going to the States. My wallet is the emptiest it could be right now.
Highlights
Received a 1000 USD scholarship to participate in the Global Leadership Summit organized by the Beta Gamma Sigma organization
Got accepted as a TA and currently working for a school program
Went to Tokyo for 4 days and 3 nights
Walked for around 7km during the trip
Made a new friend!
Decreased expenses on skincare and makeup
Increased expenses on travel fare and hotels (ugh…)
I’m grateful for…
My friend who accompanied me all the way to Tokyo
The opportunity to participate in the Summit
Another friend who supported me to obtain the visa and provide transport around during my time in the States
I need to…
Start working out and diet properly
Study for N1
Study for TOEIC L&R
Decide whether I’m getting a job or a master degree
Write my thesis
Just a random wish list
Fossil Gen 5 Smartwatch
Nintendo Switch ver. 1.5 or 2
Fire Emblem Three Houses game (does this game give you motion sickness?)
Looking forward to a great new month. One more month until Christmas!
Umi Jigoku is one of the most popular tourist attractions in Beppu. It’s usually open during the daytime, but this time, it also opens at night for a special event! ‘Yoru’ itself means night.
Right as you enter, you can see a lot of illuminations decorating the place. The entrance is different from the one you usually take if you go during the daytime.
Little illuminations
As you go along the route, you can see more varieties of illuminations. They will also play audio about the story of the little demon that has no friends and is about to set on a journey to find one.
A hill of illuminated ‘flowers’ Red spider lily My favorite scenery
Overall, it’s a very short attraction. For 900 yen, I think the price is quite steep. However, I think it’s still worth going to experiencing it the first time. You can barely see the main attraction of the onsen, but I guess the illumination here is the main thing.
I know my pictures don’t do justice. So please go and experience it yourself when you get the chance!
If you want to see what Umi Jigoku looks like during the daytime, I have made a separate post about it two years ago.
I didn’t realize that my 2 months holiday will be over in less than a week and that I need to go back to university and undergo my last year to graduate. Which means I also need to do find jobs soon.
I am actually torn between continuing education and finding a job. During my first year, I thought I could just push this topic aside and leave it for the future me. Now I’m just lost.
I want to continue university but I feel bad doing it at the same time. It’s really costly without scholarships and I don’t know if I should be living an easy life off my parent’s money. I feel guilty doing that when I know my other friends are going independent and getting their own income. On the other hand, I love just being a student because I get days off and 4 months holiday a year just to go back and see my parents. There’s nothing like that when I enter the workplace.
I do eventually plan to go back to Indonesia if I start working in Japan since I’m not really a fan of Japan’s working environment. It’s just too extreme for me and especially because I’m a woman. I know Japan’s trying to fix this gender issue but I still think it won’t change much in the future until they all realize that they’re gonna go extinct.
From what I have experienced in my internship here, I think I’ll suit the working environment here better since they still treasure personal time. Of course, working here and working in Japan has its own ups and downs, but being in a place where it feels like home is a big plus for me.
With that being said, I’m still not sure with the path I’m supposed to take. If I go for graduate school then that means I need to start writing a thesis. And I don’t like writing. And I’m lazy. (The school does not require us to write thesis to be able to graduate.)
Why on earth did I wish to be an adult when I was small.
I would like to think that I’ve been spending the first two weeks of my summer break quite productively.
For the first five days, I spent my time reconnecting with my friend that’s studying abroad in the states and happened to be on her break as well. We met three days in a row, going so many places together. I also met my friends who came back home from Germany and Taiwan. It was really fun to catch up, listening to stories, and sharing experiences.
I feel really lucky to still have close connections with a number of friends from my high school times, albeit only a few. It’s always nice to have a place to go back to and friends to talk to after a stressful semester.
Souffle pancakes from Pan & Co.
Then I spent the rest of my week with Mom who came back from another city after taking care of my brother who finally started his university life as a design student major. We tried a lot of new restaurants that were opened in the mall. These souffle pancakes are so soft and nice, but I still prefer traditional and chewy pancakes.
Since last weekend, I have moved into my brother’s new apartment in another and settled down. Dad said that it’s easier to commute to the office I will be interning from this place compared from home.
My brother’s apartment is essentially a shipwreck. Items are unorganized and he’s only been eating takeouts for the whole week. So Mom and I went IKEA a few days ago, bought several pieces of furniture and other accessories to make this space more ‘liveable’. We crafted them during the day and by nighttime, a lot of the apartment space has been freed up. Bless IKEA for the affordable furniture.
Birthday
Free birthday sushi from Sushi Tei
Normally, Dad would take the whole family out to eat fancy steak for dinner on birthdays. But he wasn’t there for the whole week so I celebrated it a bit earlier with my friend (accidentally) when one of the waitresses in Sushi Tei (obviously a sushi restaurant, for those of who you didn’t know) asked if there will be anyone having their birthdays this week. I said yes and showed my identification card. She said she’ll serve me special birthday sushi lol. It’s essentially just normal sushi with meat floss and a slice of tuna on top. It’s still good, though.
Mom bought me a birthday cake instead of baking one like usual since we can’t really cook in the apartment. She got me my favorite tiramisu from a random bakery. I wasn’t really a fan of the mascarpone cheese on this one.
My brother refuses to eat any cake. As usual.
It’s been a nice two weeks of peacefulness. My intern program will start next Monday. I’m scared and excited at the same time to find out what kind of work I will be assigned and whether I will be able to accomplish the tasks given and actually gain some useful experiences for my future.
Milkbox 